Okay, I’ll be the first to admit that this is getting a little ridiculous! My early warning system went off (that is, I got a piece of junk mail from Professional Awards of America), offering to sell me a patent plaque for U.S. Patent #8786473, “Systems and methods for sharing compression histories between multiple devices,” which is one of the fruits of my day job at Citrix Systems, as part of their CloudBridge network accelerator line, where I’m a principal technical writer and all-around expert. If you’re a masochist, you can read the full text online (the patent lawyers took my clear-ish original description and made it really hard to follow). Citrix sends me a plaque for every patent (sorry, Junk Mail Guys), and I long ago ran out of ideas for what to do with them! This patent was originally filed in 2007, and spent seven years slowly grinding through the patent office’s process. And you thought you procrastinated!